tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4735824518278962572024-03-05T13:44:20.178-08:00Blood, Guts, and Politics....A place for the finer things in life...Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger25125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-61326028398575040492011-03-15T14:32:00.001-07:002011-03-15T14:32:24.758-07:00The way I see it...<div class="mbl notesBlogText clearfix"><div>Japan, Egypt, Pirates, Drug Wars, Civil Wars, Cuba, Yemen, and Libya- Just a tiny pixel in the Grand Scheme of what is really happening in our world today.<br />
<br />
I sat at my desk pondering these world events, and comparing the reality of my own immediate discomfort caused by many of them (fuel prices, stock losses, and general fear of watching any man suffer) and some serious thoughts came to mind. I would dare say that many people like me, have long recognised the "need" for change in the world. I truly believe there are many people who are out there fighting everyday to be that change, Im starting to wonder if we are able to recognise what that "change" will look like.<br />
<br />
Japan is suffering, and my heart breaks for them. Never in my life has a Natural Disaster caught my attention so strongly. But looking forward, I view Japan as country with a strong history of recovery, and progress. The survivors will undoubtedly step forward, honour their losses and build and rebuild their great culture.<br />
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Civil wars, or uprisings of torn nations being brought to the spotlight: Its a sign of the progress of people demanding equality.<br />
Political injustice: Is our call to action, we have a voice, make it be heard.<br />
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I guess the way I see it: all hope is NOT lost! We are on the cusp of many great things to come, and each process further strengthens our worlds ability to progress.<br />
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What can we do now? I say: "Get off our asses, and become the change we demand to see in this world"<br />
<br />
-Josh</div></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-88987665492248089602011-02-14T11:13:00.000-08:002011-02-14T11:16:34.828-08:00I am Equal<span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: collapse; line-height: 15px;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="border-collapse: separate; color: white; line-height: 16px;">Some time ago a friend of mine posted a social media profile picture that caught my attention. I asked him about it, and he explained to me about the “I am equal” project. For as long as I can remember I have had strong feelings about Equality on several fronts, including rights for individuals with special needs, families without access to adequate medical services, marriage equality, and international civil rights.</span></span></span><br />
<div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"></span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyQYs6WBWGsuzhNZHfvcOMFmLjxba8iFfrm1mDgsl_vUa83dCigTzL2PnQmkMEzpEYhUI8irc8xjBnHhMKoZfKcVMTV-E2l9AOmn2Dxah7T6lsamr9102LUbPVj1aK0CioKqptAwvhEAOA/s1600/179846_10150093991589139_247978079138_6332342_8198267_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiyQYs6WBWGsuzhNZHfvcOMFmLjxba8iFfrm1mDgsl_vUa83dCigTzL2PnQmkMEzpEYhUI8irc8xjBnHhMKoZfKcVMTV-E2l9AOmn2Dxah7T6lsamr9102LUbPVj1aK0CioKqptAwvhEAOA/s320/179846_10150093991589139_247978079138_6332342_8198267_n.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">A few years ago, I was diagnosed with a rare and challenging form of Cancer, a wise friend calmly reminded me that I am the same person I have always been, but there was now a name for what had been making me sick. And now much the same as that day, I am the same person I have always been, and there is a name for the change I want to see in this world… Equality.</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">Now it’s my turn, to take my stand in support of equality. No matter your physical or mental limitations, socioeconomic status, sexual identity, or cultural beliefs, now is your chance to share your message of Equality</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;"><br />
</span></div><div style="line-height: 1.5em; margin-bottom: 0px; margin-left: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-top: 0px; text-align: left;"><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: white; font-family: Verdana, sans-serif; font-size: x-small;">What the I am equal project has given us is much more than just an amazingly brilliant photo, it’s more like the golden baton on an earth sized relay. It cannot stop here! I have been given a tool for sharing, educating, and proclaiming my belief in Equality, and inviting others to do the same.</span></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-74295304572122961182010-07-21T12:29:00.000-07:002010-07-21T12:29:22.897-07:00When its time to move beyONd...Its been a long time without any new posts.... Sorry about that!<br />
<br />
Recent events in life have left me realizing that I am spending way to much of my time, and energy involved in somethings that are not going anywhere. We often hear the phrase "its time to move on"...<br />
<br />
I would like to think that my months of effort, dedication, and hard work will not be lost. But rather, they can be taken on by someone else, who is ready for them. I dont want them to go away, its just time for me to move <i>"beyond"</i> them.<br />
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Its hard when you put your heart into something, giving it 110%, and just "knowing" it is going to work... And then you start to see it crumble. People start making decisions about things that they dont understand, and you cant stop them.<br />
<br />
People create lies, when the truth would have served them better.<br />
Then their people you have proven time, and time again that you can be trusted, and will give it your all, begin to waiver from your advice.<br />
<br />
For weeks I have been trowing my hands in the air, and reminding myself "this isnt my problem to fix" but then I remember all the effort I have given to the cause. My countless hours of unpaid time, my unsolicited analysis of every turn thats been made, and even sticking my neck out by speaking out against decisions being made.<br />
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For me, for now, it is time to move beyond....<br />
<br />
Where is beyond?<br />
<br />
Well thats to be discovered, (or disclosed at a later time ;)<br />
I hope that beyond is really, the last stop.<br />
That it will be the place that finally gets me what I want in life.<br />
My beyond will be full of what makes me smile.<br />
Beyond will be a place where I can give 110% everyday, and still feel full of life.<br />
<br />
A place where giving it all, doesn't mean leaving with nothing.<br />
<br />
If you need me... look somewhere beyond the rainbow! :)<br />
<br />
<br />
Well that felt nice... I should get back to writing more.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-86858030082675501882010-05-22T14:40:00.000-07:002010-05-22T14:40:38.800-07:00Sometimes its nice to know people are listening...Its the magic of blogging, days, weeks, or even months later, your thoughts are there for all the world to read. (If you only knew what I DON'T write on here!)<br />
<br />
I was contacted today by a very nice person who commented that by post about Josie was "Moving". You never can tell what your words will do to a person. I have been known to offend people without even trying, I would like to think I am getting a little better at that.<br />
<br />
Writing for me is certainly not a lifelong desire, much less a strong point. I consider myself much smarter in person that in words. (My grammar, and dyslexia attest to that). However it is very nice to know, that your thoughts might mean something to someone else.<br />
<br />
This last week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Work is absolutely INSANE right now. I wake up each morning dreading the excitement that is to come, yet I find myself showing up early for work almost daily.<br />
<br />
I busted out the road bike, and my Rommies went shopping and came home with their own! We are now a biking family! We actually have spent allot of time together recently, we have very distinct lives, but we all get along. One of them has an awesome Girlfriend who keeps us all in line, the other has a Girlfriend who is gone to study in London for the summer, and then there is me. (Hee-man, woman hater)<br />
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I know I left yall hanging on my Kyoto protocol opinion, but I will get that out soon. Trust me, my opinon has been established, I just need to get it into words!<br />
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Thats all for today!<br />
<br />
-JoshUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-46761837815850854362010-05-14T08:18:00.000-07:002010-05-14T08:18:46.131-07:00A year older, and approaching that time of year...Last summer sucked, lets face it. And a repeat would be unacceptable.<br />
<br />
My birthday was a bit Lame, but I do not know what I expected. When you spend everyday doing anything you want to do anyway, it become a little difficult to "celebrate" And I cant say I have thrown any wild parties for anyone else lately so I certainly didn't have anyone owing me anything in that dept. <br />
<br />
As may quickly approaches the half way mark, I can help but recall, some of what was going down this time last year. Uncle Will was in trouble, and we were just starting to realize it. And I was still ignoring that odd little pain I had in my side. I dont think we need graphic reminders of where things went from there.<br />
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I was watching a Video on Hulu the other night (as I do almost every night) and there was a add for "City of Hope" talking about treating rare cancers, and saving lives. As much as I hated that place, I have to admit, I cried like a baby for a good 30 mins in my bed. I was such a tough guy back then! But if (or when as my Doctor likes to remind me*) I were to ever attempt that again, things would be different. I think.<br />
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*I am in no way implying that "it" has returned or that I expect it too. However Doc. Rassmussen is very adamant that I understand the "probability" of it returning, and the importance of follow up.<br />
<br />
Much like those years in Mexico, and walking alone in Puerto Rico, things happen, that I probably will never talk about. Dont need too, dont want too. Its those things that make us who we are.<br />
I made some great friends, and lost some great friends, but in the end it has gotten me where I am today.<br />
<br />
Having lost more than many will ever have, and having given more than I had to give, and having been given more than I ever deserved has gotten me to what is for now, the happiest time of my life.<br />
<br />
My mind is full of random thoughts, and I enjoy them. My body feels better than it has in a long time, and I enjoy it! My spirit is buoyed with hope of even greater things to come. I have direction, I have purpose, I have hope, and I am broke, such a pleasant combination!<br />
<br />
For the last few weeks now, I have been able to function after a fulls days work, and even enjoy staying out late a few nights a week. My weekends have been amazingly full of random activities, and I can actually enjoy them instead of just praying that I dont barf, and holding a big tough boy smile on my face for all the world to see!<br />
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I haven't visited my lil Princessa niece Emma for a good long while, and alas my bronchitis has cleared up so I hope to get down there in the next few weeks. I miss torturing her.<br />
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Well its been alot of fun! But I gotta go conquer the world!<br />
<br />
-JoshUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-86801174719480827962010-04-27T09:25:00.000-07:002010-04-27T09:25:11.131-07:00Josh-ipidieaI have long been known for my head full of random facts, and often seemingly pointless information. Recently some of the work folks sorta jokingly called me "Josh-ipidiea" and while I am reluctant to compare myslef to an encyclopedia, I will say that the biggest reason I am able to find awnsers to things is because I LOOK. <br />
<br />
I spend a great deal of my mental capacity thinking through 100 different scenarios for any given situation, and then I try and solve each of them. You cant be affraid to try! I have destroyed my share of things, but I really think that for the most part those "sacrifices" have paid off. I have learned my limits, and my resources. I mean this is 2010 so WHEN I get stumped I generaly turn to my "bag of tricks" like the few hundred people on my Facebook list. And if I cant find someone there who specializes in my problem, I turn to the ole google... Lets face it, in this day in age, funding is the only thing that keeps most of us from building our own space ships based on Googled instructions. <br />
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I am loving my job, and they seem to be tolerating my daily demands for a raise, and some hardware upgrades. I think they have learned that I always show up the next morning no matter how many times they regect me. LOL<br />
<br />
Spent the weekend helping my Dad do some landscaping modification to Grandmas house. We spent a great deal of time exploring the Volcanic side of Millard County... Always a treat! <br />
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I realized today I am not doing so well with the follow up with some of my recently reconnected old friends. I have had several really exciting friends find me latley, and I have been a bit of a lame about getting them all caught up on my life... <br />
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I have a birthday comming up! WooHoo?!? I want to go on a Cruise, buy a new Mtn. Bike, and make passionate love to some amazing lover for hours on end to Celebrate. But I am guessing, Ill head down to be with the family, have a steak dinner, and go to bed early. Thats just the way it seems to work these days... <br />
<br />
On a side note, I got a new mouse for my work computer today... Its AWESOME! <br />
<br />
Love yall!<br />
<br />
-JoshUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-8852014640886399292010-04-19T20:42:00.000-07:002010-04-19T20:42:19.030-07:00I cant wait to let me 6 year old drive my 3 year old around on the 4 Wheeler...NOT! Your a complete dumbass if you have ever even thought about doing that. Lets review a few scenarios.<br />
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Scenario A: 6 year old makes it around camp, over a few dunes, and down to the candy store and back with lil brother on the back without any trouble. No one get hurts life is good. 6 year old gains confidence in his riding ability, and decides to take the neighbors 4 year old to the Candy Store next time. The dont stop at the stop sign, get T boned by a Truck hauling a Horse Trailer, both Children Die. Your 6 year old just killed the Neighbor boy. <br />
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Scenario B: 6 year old Crashes just outside of Camp, not a bad crash, but enough to scare everyone. No one is seriously injured, and the 4 wheeler is just fine. But because the 6 year old realizes he just hurt his little brother he Never wants to ride again. And the 3 year old will always be afraid of Kids just a little older than him. Dont think so? Try it I dare ya. You know own a Kids sized four wheeler that will not be used, and you couldnt conciously risk another familys Children by selling it to someone else.<br />
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You get my point folks. Kids are fun. ATV's are fun. But wrecked ATV's and Hurt Kids are about the 2 worst things I can think of at the moment.<br />
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Wear you helmet, dont be stupid, and drink lots of fluid! Enjoy the Ride.<br />
<br />
JoshUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-1819880042111108332010-04-15T12:01:00.000-07:002010-04-15T12:01:06.424-07:00Its not because I havent had anything to say....I always have a mind full of thoughts and opinions, but sometimes I need to be prompted to but them down in my blog....<br />
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As you probubly know by now, I attempted some really cool manuvers with my body, and landed myself in the ole ER with a broken collar bone. Honestly its not that bad now, Im just a little careful with it, but once you get used to not being able to sleep on your back, side, stomach, head, feet, sitting up, or laying down its not so bad!<br />
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On a VERY happy note, my 401k made $0.48 cents last quarter. I knew I should have taken that money to Wendover... hahahaha...<br />
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While I actualy think that Aprox 99.9% of the people that read this crap I write are Women, I am going to have to vent for just a second. SO if you are an Emotional, Manipulative, or Indicisive Woman, please dont read the following paragraph:<br />
<br />
<span style="color: #999999; font-family: Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif;"><em>Why are most Girls convinenced that the only way to get a guys attention is to plot a complicated "Needs" based relationship? Do they not realize that we can see through all the things that "need" us for? Honestly, maybe I have just had way to many Survivalist type Women in my life to really get this, but in short I am NOT flattered that you need me to make every dicision. You dont need to create a need for me, or tell me how much you need me. And dont ever try to show me that I need you. Ill throw that one right back in your face faster than you've ever imagined. Now if you care to make a resonable attempt at exploring a real relationship, I have a few suggestions. First of all, It is perfectly ok to WANT to do something, I may or may not want to do it as well, but I will know with certainty how you feel about it. "Kinda Wanting" or "Thinking about" gives me the idea that you are sharing every thought that runs through your head, and I file it away as such. Also, its ok to disagree, I actualy enjoy a friendly discussion about differences, Im almost imposible to offend, some people like me, some people dont. But I actualy like MOST people. And lastly, I am a real person, with real feelings, and I am reasonably inteligent... If you want to know something about me, or how I feel about something, just ask. Ill tell you. And most of the time Ill be respectable about it. You wont get anywhere trying to trick me into telling you what you want to know without asking.</em></span><br />
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<span style="color: black; font-family: inherit;">OK Im back, or continuing on for those who skipped my potentialy offensive Rant... </span><br />
Life if Great at Present as far as I am concerned. I am really enjoying my work, and the everyday challenges it brings. I feel as if mentaly this has been just what the Doctor ordered. It has sharpend my mind, and my skills, back to where they belong.<br />
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Speaking of Doctors, I have an appointment next week, I am excited! I have lost just a little weight, which was needed, and I feel good in that regard. My energy level however is a joke. And its not bouncing back as quickly as I had hoped. After a full day of work I am spent. I have just enough left to get home, eat, maybe do a quick load of laundry and go to bed. I hope to get back to running soon. The weather is nice, and my legs are begging for it...<br />
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I took Grams for a short road trip recently, it was a Great time! We went and did some Southern Utah Exploring. Just Her and I... It was a great trip! Hope to get a few more adventures in with her before it gets to hot outside. <br />
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Speaking of getting hot outside, Im preparing to release my Opinion on Global Warming, and the Kyoto Protocol. <br />
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Stay tuned! <br />
<br />
JoshUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-70845570157597955082010-03-30T15:00:00.000-07:002010-03-30T15:00:03.539-07:00Visions of Sugar plumsFor the record, I enjoy a good seasonal Sugar Plumb, but I am sensetive to caraway seeds, so they have to be just the right ones or I wont eat them.<br />
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You ask yourself, What the heck is this guy babling about? Well, when I look around at all the best things in life, they are sorta made like Sugar Plumbs; by taking a well liked object, drying it out, chopping it up, Mixing in a few things that *some* would say will make it better, yet not so much of it that those who object can really make a case against it.<br />
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I know everyone has been eagerly awaiting my 2 cents on the Healthcare Reform Bill... Well here it is: I do not agree WHATSOEVER with our Goverment sneakily attaching random things to big name political movements. IE: College loan reform is included with the "Healthcare" reform, AND how many knew that there was a Healthcare Privacy movement included in the economic "Stimulus"!? I would dare say it is becoming increasing dificult to trust our politicians, and much less the mass media versions of "Political Analaysis"<br />
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We must become educated for our own protection.<br />
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Got to spend a weekend out on the Desert recently, which scratched my itch well enough that I wont need to be doing anything to exciting for Easter. <br />
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I have some upcoming health check ups, to be completly honest, nothing would suprise me, I have noticed a little bit of weight loss, which was actualy needed, but I didnt do anything to cause it, so Im going to guess that will mean a slight Medication adjustment is due. My hair is growing great, but my skin is still very hard and dry... no bueno.<br />
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For now, all is well, and Im am still me!<br />
<br />
-JoshUnknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-87052286625807675502010-03-14T09:25:00.000-07:002010-03-14T09:25:06.987-07:00Its like yelling into the corner of a round room....You know those things you just need to say or think, but you are completely, consciously aware that it does no good to say or think them? My head seems to be full of those at the moment.<br />
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I want to know something, but I dont want to ask about it.<br />
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I know how to do something that I need to do, But I dont want to do it.<br />
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I have the time to do the things I need to do, but I want to use it to do things I dont need.<br />
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I know Im hearing, but I dont know what Im listening too.<br />
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Im not completely happy, but Im not sad about it.<br />
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Its yet another fruitful weekend, I got to rock lil Emma to sleep yesterday! I made some awesome Grub for Dinner! Im looking forward to going to work tomorrow, and I managed to make my very own plans for after work! I feel like such a big boy! This last week I also refilled my prescription on time, kept my Cell phone charged, replied to every important email, and even managed to keep myself fed!<br />
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Despite what some people might think I DO know what I want, I just dont want to tell them!<br />
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Agh.... Thats all folks!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-43110525660438373682010-03-07T07:10:00.000-08:002010-03-07T07:10:58.723-08:00Something to talk aboutI realize that I have grown away from my blog, and I really dont know why... Its such a fun place... I never know who if anyone is reading it, and I can only imagine a handful of people who actually care about what I have to say, yet with each new post I get a very respectable number of hits on the Counter. SO what I would like to do is have each person who actually takes time to read this junk, to send $1 (US) to: <br />
<br />
Wow, I find the dumbest ways to crack myself up sometimes. (On a side note, anyone interested in sending me a Dollar please email me!) I recently went on a date to a roller rink, It only cost $2! And it was a GREAT time!<br />
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Health update: Im swell, and holding. Check ups every 2 months for the next 5years.<br />
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Work update: I love the new job, and I know I havent given anyone specifics about it online, and there is a reason for that. Not that Ive been sworn to secrecy, but more so our Company, and Products are designed to be Web based success' and frankly I dont want 200,000+ people pestering me. SO if ya really want to know that bad, just ask me. Ill tell ya. But dont expect much specifics online, until things settle down. (My Horoscope says things will settle down around my birthday, which is in May, ((again anyone needing that address just let me know :)))<br />
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Love update: People love me and I love some people. What more could a man want.<br />
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Beannies: Are for sale, I have a huge inventory in stock :) They are great for spring! The decision to sale them is based solely on the need for more yarn to perpetuate my habit. I did drop some off at the Cancer center the other day. They always had a nice supply, but I never cared for the ones they had. I hope mine will make someone happy.<br />
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Ski update: The snowpack in Utah has sucked. However that hasnt stopped me. Ill be night skiing at Brighton tomorrow. Come find me and say hi!<br />
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Research update: I have not been conducting any animal testing lately.<br />
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La Familia: I have a new Niece that is about a month old now. I got to pick her name, (mostly I think because they didnt think I was going to live long enough to meet her, I showed them, and NOW they had to use my name!) Her name is Emma Mae, shes adorable! And she might be a lil spoiled. She has the largest individual collection of my Beannies of anyone! hehehehehe And today I think Im going to take he something that makes lots of noise! Yep thats they kind a uncle I am.<br />
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Im going to go eat some Grapes, Have a fine day!<br />
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-JoshUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-49377666028843602512010-02-26T13:21:00.000-08:002010-02-26T13:21:19.474-08:00New JobSo its my second day here on the new job. You ask yourself...Hmmm wonder what Josh does now? Well, I work for a really cool company, that has a really cool product, that no one can seem to find. Aparently we are having some Production/Distribution issues. Lucky for me, its not anything I am supposed to be fixing, and even better no Product, mean No Problems with the Product, SO that is making it even better! Aparently my job has more to do with this imaginary product than I thought. I have spent a great deal up time setting up my desk to do the "Work" Im going to be doing once we have a product and then someone has a problem with it. There is a computer program that is supposed to help me fix the problems but its broke right now, SO I cant really practice fixing the problem of our Product when our Product doesnt have any Problems, and the Program for the Problem Product doesnt work. Yeah its Friday, gotta love it.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-78970717783245116122010-01-08T20:52:00.000-08:002010-01-08T21:16:17.002-08:00Officer Down My memories with Josie are not unique in anyway, She did the same for all of us, but I have to put my memories into words so that those memories will not go unspoken.<br />
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<br />
I heard Sgt. Kimball's voice, and I knew he must have felt like the loneliest man on earth at that moment.<br />
It sat me straight up in my bed, I had been half listening to the standard flow of Radio traffic until that moment. Now I was wide awake, my heart racing I knew exactly who was down, and I knew that in an instant our quiet little town would be shaken to its very core. And worse, I knew those men were somewhere around here. She had been taken down, that brave woman who had been there for countless members of our community was gone.<br />
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When you're from a small town its easy to get to know people, but this time it was the woman who had held my own mothers head above the water as she was seizing in a tub full of water.<br />
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A woman who took a Patrol Car down a snow packed ditch bank where no car belonged because she knew I couldn't stop those two young men alone.<br />
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It was the deputy that selflessly handed ME her spare flashlight that night on that cold desert. And as 15 or more men stood watching she placed the cuffs on those "big talking" young mens wrists. I remember the words those kids said to her, and the fire that it ignited in every man standing there, but we knew full well she could handle them. They were in good hands. I had lost her flashlight.<br />
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It was the woman who's own cry for help I had once responded too. One of her own was in need, and for a short moment, I was able to give back to her, in a small, small way.<br />
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I remember standing at the window of her truck one night when a medical call came through, it was CPR in progress, I just stepped back and said well I'll see you later. She began to pull away and then without ever stopping she shouted from her window: "How many compressions am I supposed to give again?" I yelled back shaking my head, half laughing, 30... Josie, 30... I didn't think she had heard me with her siren wailing, but when I saw her at the hospital later, she came up to me and said: "You did say 30 right?" I said: Yes, and just laughed. She said: "HEY! Oak City is a long drive to remember that, Im glad I got it right" Ive never seen Josie not have it right.<br />
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"She was easy to love, and she loved everyone of us. She deserves our love, and gave us love undeserved." -Josh PoulsenUnknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-27117119198476771232010-01-06T08:37:00.000-08:002010-01-06T08:37:41.409-08:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-rwPG-hcPs0PmIyCkngrLcLdCVejwVXY-NS15bGiZ-2EJ_I0eFlwN944UuCa0om6WrvaV05i-lFWk2YuvJbeYK2ZpnEV3dc3EEibi-GitKOhMHH3WvF-lNYpbOpVXaL8xbpjRBawhsurS/s1600-h/beanie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg-rwPG-hcPs0PmIyCkngrLcLdCVejwVXY-NS15bGiZ-2EJ_I0eFlwN944UuCa0om6WrvaV05i-lFWk2YuvJbeYK2ZpnEV3dc3EEibi-GitKOhMHH3WvF-lNYpbOpVXaL8xbpjRBawhsurS/s320/beanie.jpg" /></a><br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I made it for me<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">to remember you.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">A hero was she<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">as shown by the blue.<br />
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</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">I think you'll agree<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">it was early adieu.<br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">God Bless You, Josie<br />
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</div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-16601505766758019272010-01-05T09:00:00.000-08:002010-01-05T09:00:21.863-08:00Deputy Josie Greathouse Fox<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixLbO00sLLcLu4nDmop-GvxkB5JAN98IYKBiSgEOv1xaJvzTaB-LTr_ynRp_BhKodMNxgZctUpIEhhC310jsglj67nrO_5MVIiA7resfUvANEhEvpXs05wytqjmY-6bM-xpUUn4A4wjjvT/s1600-h/Jossie.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEixLbO00sLLcLu4nDmop-GvxkB5JAN98IYKBiSgEOv1xaJvzTaB-LTr_ynRp_BhKodMNxgZctUpIEhhC310jsglj67nrO_5MVIiA7resfUvANEhEvpXs05wytqjmY-6bM-xpUUn4A4wjjvT/s320/Jossie.jpg" /></a><br />
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It was just shortly after 1 A.M. I thought I was asleep, yet I heard every single word. And in a flash a wonderful Mother was gone. A life taken at the hands of an ill soul. Once something like that has your attention you cant stop listening. For over 8 hours now, I have listened as every inch of our county has been combed through block by block, mile by mile, by men dedicated to keeping the rest of us safe asleep in our homes. Its now nearing 10 AM, and one by one I can hear those tired and tried men going 10-42 safe at their homes. Josie wont be going 10-42 and she didn't get to go home safe this morning.<br />
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I remember a few years ago waking up to Josie's panicked voice on the Radio, in desperate need of help for someone close to her. Just like last night I thought I was asleep, but something about her voice jolted me from my bed and into the Ambulance before the page ever went out, that night she made a difference in someones life. Last night She didn't get the chance to ask for help.<br />
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I will never forget Josie being there for me, and my family and the comfort she offered me knowing how difficult it is to face your own family in a bad situation. She knew exactly how it felt, I had watched her feel it, and I could feel that she really cared. And she wasn't the type to just care at that moment, she cared enough to help even hours after her shift was over.<br />
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<span class="Apple-style-span" style="-webkit-border-horizontal-spacing: 2px; -webkit-border-vertical-spacing: 2px; font-size: small; line-height: 16px;">Deputy Josie Greathouse Fox, gone but never forgotten.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-29149995738112420282010-01-02T14:35:00.000-08:002010-01-02T15:12:38.628-08:00SchadenfreudeAnd I actually *think* I spelled that right... But I dont have any German neuroscience books around to back me up... And honestly I dont know of any American English words that explain Schadenfreude. How on earth can I get a word like that out of my lil head you ask? It was easy...somebody taught me, and I listened for a change. I remember thinking to myself at the time: "Thats the word to explain why its so fun to be and EMT!" I regret to say that shortly after developing that theory I was proven wrong, very wrong. There is something about dragging your own Mothers unconscious body out of a bathtub, as part of your job duty, that makes Schadenfreude suddenly a very inappropriate term for any "Thrill" that comes from being a EMT.... (PTSD, Much?) its about then that you start to think about those freakish stories about Cops being first to find dead family members ect. It changes you. But as usual I am rambling about something that has nothing to do with "My Point" today... I was born a rambling man?<br />
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It was a Lakota Indian teaching us in the Black Hills of Tennessee, that first introduced this thought to me. I had personally driven cross country to be lectured by Native Americans, Psychologists and Neuro-scientists about how the fine art of Mental "Repair" is to be mastered. It was indeed one of the more enlightening experiences of my life. And I will never forget the piercing familiarity that each concept had to a general teaching of most Christian Standards including my own. And from that, I was able to substitute albeit mentaly the term "Schadenfreude" with the concept of "Envy" in similar fashion as described in the book of Proverbs. Simply put envy will catch up to you, its a basic life principal. Not always in the way it grabbed me, by taking something that I much enjoyed doing (working as an EMT) and suddenly making it one of the most nightmarish visions that will be forever etched in my memory. And while for me, for the most part I have worked through that mentally to a point of being able to effectively and confidently perform any Emergency Medical task at hand, it has never felt the same.<br />
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My question to myself is WHICH feeling is right? <br />
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At present I have adopted the opinion that Oxytocin is the control center for that feeling technically described as "Envy". In my opinion that is the practical reason that each of us react distinctly to any given situation. Despite some groupable familiarities and differences between men and women, for the most part this is a highly "Personalized" part of who we are.<br />
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Now if you are thinking to yourself..."Josh, you need a life" well your right... But in the meantime dont hate me for thinking about yours : )Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-41739820101779717932009-12-30T12:17:00.001-08:002009-12-30T12:17:34.658-08:00Reduce your Risk 2010Its that time of year again! Time to make some promises for our big life goals in 2010! I have asked everyone on Facebook, but I want to include the Blog only group to do the same: Leave a comment as to 1 thing you are willing to change about your lifestyle in 2010 to reduce your risk of Cancer! There are lots of great ideas online, but post YOUR decision on here so everyone can share, and maybe youll inspire someone!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-76017740460944525272009-12-30T07:38:00.000-08:002009-12-30T07:38:51.489-08:00Keeping it simple....As some of you may remember I attempted to keep an online Journal during my Cancer treatment. I have pretty much abandoned that site, and have just stuck to Facebook, and now possibly a little blogging... SO for now, dont expect any updates on the Caring Bridge page. Today is day 20 post treatment, and I feel... well I feel like the last 6 months were spent trying to poison my body and that its going to take more than 20 days to feel "all better" lol!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-84336125964693728712009-12-28T19:08:00.001-08:002009-12-28T19:08:04.914-08:00Sometimes you have nothing to say....But thats not today... I have plenty to say, and I am just not in the mood to write... Its people like me that make blogging seem difficult.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-40991922397921620032009-12-24T08:02:00.000-08:002009-12-24T08:02:16.755-08:00'Twas the night before Christmas...I was up around 7 A.M. thinking to myself that "Its here, the BIG day is here" the Legendary Night before Christmas. A night who's significance is etched in history by Glorious Visions, Bright Stars,a Humble Birth, and in the Timeless words of John Sullivan Dwight:<br />
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<dl style="text-align: center;"><dd><i>"It is the night of Our dear Saviour's birth.</i></dd><dd><i>Long lay the world In sin and error pining,</i></dd><dd>'<i>Til He appear'd And the soul felt its worth.</i></dd><dd><i>A thrill of hope The weary world rejoices,</i></dd><dd><i>For yonder breaks A new and glorious morn.</i></dd></dl><div> </div><dl><dd style="text-align: center;"><i>Fall on your knees! O, hear the angels' voices!</i></dd><dd style="text-align: center;"><i>O night divine, O night when Christ was born;"</i></dd><dd style="text-align: left;"><i> </i></dd><dd style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">What an Image! To reflect on those words, and the countless historical "Night Before Christmas" Stories that are shared year after year. My expectations for today, and tonight are distinct from those images of the well rehearsed past. </span>But I am grateful for a lot of wonderful things this Christmas, and I am committed to spending some personal time reflecting on the True Meaning of Christmas. </dd><dd style="text-align: left;">
</dd><dd style="text-align: left;">Now you don't think that I am actually going to take time to write just about the Mushy Stuff of Christmas do you? Oh No...Not me! I have plenty to say about the reality of how I expect today to go. Allow me to share: The in home hussle started about 7 A.M. there is still fudge to be made, and countless last minute gifts that need wrapped and delivered. Undoubtedly there will be Sports Highlights from this weeks biggest games cluttering the Televisions between Christmas Classics. Of course there is still traveling to be done, while I am where I need to be, my Dad and others still have hundreds of miles to cover in the next 24 hours. The trash cans are full, the 4 Wheeler needs to be put away, the front walk needs salt, the Wood Stove will need constant attention, oh and the phone, there will be lots of time spent recieving all those Happy Holiday text messages! As for tonights dinner, no one is certain who will be comming, and everyone is questioning which traditions must be carried on, while quietly allowing others to be forgoten forever.</dd><dd style="text-align: left;">
</dd><dd style="text-align: left;">Year after year, we grow eager for this magical night... it has arrived!
</dd><dd style="text-align: left;"><span style="font-family: inherit;"> </span>
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</dd></dl>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-83923728511289696052009-12-18T09:58:00.000-08:002009-12-18T10:03:41.107-08:00My Therapist Suggested it...<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br />
</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmha1CQgB1Z8UOwBIYoHlcDmrDCk0VYDurDe6DE-LMuKbPtBt0fEav5pF_o2JGZsd9TyUUfV9LlLEbV8kIS_5jx_nAruJQY2tIz_7qYYrsBcTTgnMSJ293U7fXFylyadxkdWBwFjmKs_UD/s1600-h/BeannieFam.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmha1CQgB1Z8UOwBIYoHlcDmrDCk0VYDurDe6DE-LMuKbPtBt0fEav5pF_o2JGZsd9TyUUfV9LlLEbV8kIS_5jx_nAruJQY2tIz_7qYYrsBcTTgnMSJ293U7fXFylyadxkdWBwFjmKs_UD/s400/BeannieFam.jpg" /></a><br />
</div>Its a well documented fact, that I tend to drive people away when I decide I want to be left alone. But I am not consistent with "When" I want to be alone. Sometimes when I don’t feel well, I just want to ignore it, and go about my day, and other times, I want nothing more than to be served Chicken Noodle Soup, with hand pulled all white meat chicken, round cut carrots, no celery, and homemade round noodles in Bed. Some people think Im odd, but I am just me. This Christmas has been no exception. <br />
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I am grateful to be gaining some heath back to Celebrate, but I spend a lot of time thinking to myself, with all this Partying I am seeing VERY little recognition as to the True Meaning of Christmas. In my efforts to not spoil everyone’s Gay Ole Time, I have sort of just shut up, and spent a lot of time in my Green Chair. And this morning I found myself sorting through some thoughts about Family, and Symbolism, and the true Meaning of Christmas. If you still have Gifts to Wrap, I would save this exercise until a more appropriate time. In my experience you may start texting people at inappropriate hours.<br />
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“My 2009 Beanie Family” deserves some explanation. First of all, it was NOT based on an Idea from my Therapist, I have only spoke with a Therapist once during the mentionable past, and it was while I was in the Hospital in California, because they were concerned I might be angry. NO DUMBASSES I have an earache, like I had said about 14 times by the time he arrived. That said, "My Beanie" for this year, is the first one I have ever made for myself, and while I might say that its to show the Girls that I don’t need them to supply me with Beanies, the reality is, my personal preference is a Crochet Beanie Cap, (having been bald I am a lil picky about my Beanies) I attempted to Crochet a Beanie Cap, and honestly, I just Cant. SO my knitted beanie, is only an outward expression, not a true replacement of my NEED.<br />
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The Colors on “my” Beanie Cap Brim are Traditional Christmas Colors; Red, White, and Green which to most people would seem like the practical choice this time of year, while in reality, those Colors symbolize to me: Mexico. Honestly I think the connection comes to me as a mental attachment to Celebration. Every day in Mexico was like Christmas for me! Above the brim, is a thick, wooly white strictly knitted rows parallel rows, for me they symbolize all the great snow runs I plan to have this winter. There is a more complex explanation to each of the other beanies in the Photo, but I will just quickly note, that the Lil beanie cap is actually for my newest Niece, who I was given the blessing of selecting her name (I am known for choosing great names) “Emma” is due in February. <br />
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I need to get on the road, so long for now, stay safe in your Holiday Travels!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-69305965370227763042009-12-17T15:42:00.000-08:002009-12-17T15:42:29.152-08:00Its a guy thing....Gibbons, you will probubly never see this, but I want you to know your the reason I have decided to be brave, and come out of the closet about my recently discovered ability to knitt beannies. (For those of you who dont know Gibbons, was a Mission Companion who also happens to love snow sports.) <br />
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Girls, dont judge guys for their ability to use their hands for non traditional tasks. It makes us feel bad. And besides, I have been given a few beannies, some great ones and some not so usefull ones. SO, dont judge me, and I wont judge you!<br />
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And hey! maybe if your nice to me maybe youll get a Josh Made Beannie Cap for Christmas! ; ) Ill post some pics later...<br />
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P.S. Despite the many requests for sweaters, and doggie clothes, I do not plan to extend my Product line past about 3 sizes of beannies. <br />
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Merry Christmas and<br />
Happy Holidays!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-11762521369642271762009-12-12T18:08:00.000-08:002009-12-12T18:08:48.017-08:00Its Genetic?Sometime long long ago, I came the conclusion that my Family wasnt exactly what the professionals would refer too as "Normal". So it always makes for a wonderful review of "Who" I think I closest too, or "Most Like" in my family. I am the oldest of 5 siblings, and the Only Child of my Parents. They divorced when I was a tike, and both have remarried, and divorced throughout my life. I love them both, but I dont take parental advice from either of them. That Role has been left up too various people in my Life, including My Grandparents,Some well respected Friends, and in Florida a Teacher, and a Neighbor by the name of Mr. Ed. He influenced some of my most important years, and I think about him often. <br />
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Recently I have been given the privilage of reading through thousands of pages of medical history, and I have come to the conclusion that Physicaly I am "Most" like my Grandpa Dave. Between the two of us, we put a fair dent in the ICD codes. He passed away in 2002 after a very full, yet trying life. <br />
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What an introduction to the topic of "Dumb Ideas" which is really what I am getting after here. Several years ago, I began to bond with some long lost Cousins and soon discovered that they were very free spirited, and recreationaly creative. Soon, we were sleding behind Clydsedale hores, attaching Magnetic Drink mugs to the roof of the truck and driving down the freeway to watch people react, using staple guns to perform general cosmetic surgery, placing bets on who could down the Raw Egg, Cat food, and Mustard coctail the fastest, shooting eachother with airsoft guns, and most recently taking part in a Ceremonial Animal Shocking Device demonstration. (NO Animals were used during the testing or Ceremony).<br />
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Now I think I should explain a little bit of background as to some of what makes up my family:<br />
Several Multi Champ Bull Riders, A few Pro Horse competitors, Several Professionals in the Medical field, Chemical Experts, Truck Drivers, a Pysicic, Musicians, Mechanics, Drug Addicts, and I even have a Cousin who I have never met that is in Prison for Murder. That said it should come as no suprise to any of you that know me, I consider myself a bit of an "Outcast" at times. Now dont fool yourself, I have made my fair share of mistakes, But I kinda stand out as the Guy with a College Education, who Served a LDS Mission in a foriegn country, and I have spent the better part of my working life, working to solve someone elses problems.<br />
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On any given day I communicate with people I consider great Friends varying in shape, size and Culture. Old, Young, Students I have taught, Teachers who taught me, Baptists, Catholics, and Mormons alike. I could comfortably introduce a stranger to a: Deaf Person, a Law Student, an Olympian, a Recovered Alcoholic, a Compulsive Gambler, a Straight man with HIV who has never used elicit drugs, a Gay man without HIV who works in the Construction Industry, and yes, even a African American! All of whom I consider my friends. (Sorry if I left you out :) ) Now thats not to say that I am anyone special for Modern day America, but Developing those relationships I believe has made me much more of the person that I am today, than my Genetic Code. OR SO I THOUGHT.<br />
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Today I found myself hiking to the top of large snow covered sand dunes, and racing down them on skis, and when that got old, I tied a rope to the back of the truck and while my Dad reenacted his favorite Driving Skills from Ice Road Truckers, I was tagging along behind the truck on my skis, perfecting my crossovers, all while dodging the open range sheep. So I guess no matter how classy or cultured or learned I attempt to become, I will forever be in my own way "ME" with a genetic destiny of Adventure.<br />
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I believe I am catching the vision of blogging.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-7679667999004250502009-12-11T07:24:00.000-08:002009-12-11T07:32:33.119-08:00The Power Of Nuts:We all know that Guys are often accused of thinking with something besides our brains. Well I tend to agree with that accusation, now in all fairness I must disclose that this post is more about Neuroscience, Emotions, and Situational Awareness, NOT about hormone driven behavior. Sorry to disappoint you. <br />
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The Almond of Life. Nestled somewhere deep inside our brains (specifically I believe somewhere in the Medial Temporal Lobes) there are a group of nuclei formed similar to an Almond, scientifically referred to as "Amygdalae". For our purposes, we will call them our "nuts". The Almond is a Genetic relation to the Rose (well so is almost any flower or fruit producing tree) but to envision the difference of the two might be of some use to my "Point" today. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidiwzEa3jSQP2nhdhs_k2R-kLXt03qRiuiXNNQ0BvsroN_bGLzzGl7nkpoXJ5Mosv4xVA50gEMUIVfMke2NManYiboQl2DYmaopQ43HrtABfCkMpg7zNfCaiAxTXAlr-is0mwL-ADcTnbI/s1600-h/almond.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" ps="true" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEidiwzEa3jSQP2nhdhs_k2R-kLXt03qRiuiXNNQ0BvsroN_bGLzzGl7nkpoXJ5Mosv4xVA50gEMUIVfMke2NManYiboQl2DYmaopQ43HrtABfCkMpg7zNfCaiAxTXAlr-is0mwL-ADcTnbI/s320/almond.jpg" /></a><br />
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Every day, thousands of times over, our brain produces a response to a situation: Lights on, lights off. Hot, Cold. Fast, Slow. Good, Bad. Sweet, Bitter. Pain, Pleasure. ECT. To keep it simple neuroscience has described this response as "Fight/Flight". Our nuts are directly responsible for our individual Fight/Flight choices. And that’s something worth taking some time to discuss.<br />
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That feeling of disagreeing with someone you love, and the conflict of expressing your disagreement, while ensuring your love. (For guys it’s often the feeling of being punched in the chest with one arm, by a Girl who has the other arm wrapped around him so tight he can’t get away). Knowing that what you’re about to say is going to make someone upset, and then it doesn’t. That "click" of the harness on the Roller Coaster your best friend talked you into to trying. And then those times, when outwardly you go through the motions, and visible emotions as if everything were "Perfect" and then when it’s time to sign on the line your hand is shaking so much your signature gives the appearance of a victimized hostage? (Ever watched someone sign a Marriage License?) <br />
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All that from an Almond. Yes, folks you heard it here first. I have found that for me the best times in my life have been those little moments when I expected one thing and got something entirely different. Those are the experiences that make us who we are. And I would purpose that as a Culture if we are to thrive, it will be largely in part to the people who master the ability harness the potential of their "Nuts".<br />
Some street level ideology on the thought: It is my belief that it is human misuse of nuts that has been the cause of these and other Social Realities: <br />
*Blood Donation Shortages *Black Friday*Excessive Debt*Domestic Violence*Animal Abuse*War*Hate Crimes<br />
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While it is more clearly Humans using their nuts for a more responsible cause that have afforded us the beauty of things such as:<br />
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*Organ Transplants*Soup Kitchens*Adoption*Medical Miracles*Music*Forgiveness*Acceptance<br />
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It was not my intent in writing this to turn your thoughts to a specific thought or sudden change in our daily motions, but rather to invite each of us to look inward and explore our individual abilities to Change what needs changing.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-473582451827896257.post-18607634184166393782009-12-10T20:47:00.000-08:002009-12-10T20:49:22.909-08:00I may or may not update this thing on a consistant basis... Time will tell..I have always had mixed feelings about blogs, but on a whim, I have decided I need a bit of a social media outlet to some of what can clutter up my head. Stay tuned to see if I follow through!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0