Schadenfreude

And I actually *think* I spelled that right... But I dont have any German neuroscience books around to back me up... And honestly I dont know of any American English words that explain Schadenfreude.  How on earth can I get a word like that out of my lil head you ask? It was easy...somebody taught me, and I listened for a change. I remember thinking to myself at the time: "Thats the word to explain why its so fun to be and EMT!" I regret to say that shortly after developing that theory I was proven wrong, very wrong. There is something about dragging your own Mothers unconscious body out of a bathtub, as part of your job duty, that makes Schadenfreude suddenly a very inappropriate term for any "Thrill" that comes from being a EMT.... (PTSD, Much?) its about then that you start to think about those freakish stories about Cops being first to find dead family members ect. It changes you. But as usual I am rambling about something that has nothing to do with "My Point" today... I was born a rambling man?

It was a Lakota Indian teaching us in the Black Hills of Tennessee, that first introduced this thought to me.  I had personally driven cross country to be lectured by Native Americans, Psychologists and Neuro-scientists about how the fine art of Mental "Repair" is to be mastered. It was indeed one of the more enlightening experiences of my life. And I will never forget the piercing familiarity that each concept had to a general teaching of most Christian Standards including my own. And from that, I was able to substitute albeit mentaly the term "Schadenfreude" with the concept of "Envy" in similar fashion as described in the book of Proverbs.  Simply put envy will catch up to you, its a basic life principal. Not always in the way it grabbed me, by taking something that I much enjoyed doing (working as an EMT) and suddenly making it one of the most nightmarish visions that will be forever etched in my memory. And while for me, for the most part I have worked through that mentally to a point of being able to effectively and confidently perform any Emergency Medical task at hand, it has never felt the same.

My question to myself is WHICH feeling is right?

At present I have adopted the opinion that Oxytocin is the control center for that feeling technically described as "Envy". In my opinion that is the practical reason that each of us react distinctly to any given situation. Despite some groupable familiarities and differences between men and women, for the most part this is a highly "Personalized" part of who we are.

Now if you are thinking to yourself..."Josh, you need a life" well your right... But in the meantime dont hate me for thinking about yours : )