Posts
Its been a long time without any new posts.... Sorry about that!
Recent events in life have left me realizing that I am spending way to much of my time, and energy involved in somethings that are not going anywhere. We often hear the phrase "its time to move on"...
I would like to think that my months of effort, dedication, and hard work will not be lost. But rather, they can be taken on by someone else, who is ready for them. I dont want them to go away, its just time for me to move "beyond" them.
Its hard when you put your heart into something, giving it 110%, and just "knowing" it is going to work... And then you start to see it crumble. People start making decisions about things that they dont understand, and you cant stop them.
People create lies, when the truth would have served them better.
Then their people you have proven time, and time again that you can be trusted, and will give it your all, begin to waiver from your advice.
For weeks I have been trowing my hands in the air, and reminding myself "this isnt my problem to fix" but then I remember all the effort I have given to the cause. My countless hours of unpaid time, my unsolicited analysis of every turn thats been made, and even sticking my neck out by speaking out against decisions being made.
For me, for now, it is time to move beyond....
Where is beyond?
Well thats to be discovered, (or disclosed at a later time ;)
I hope that beyond is really, the last stop.
That it will be the place that finally gets me what I want in life.
My beyond will be full of what makes me smile.
Beyond will be a place where I can give 110% everyday, and still feel full of life.
A place where giving it all, doesn't mean leaving with nothing.
If you need me... look somewhere beyond the rainbow! :)
Well that felt nice... I should get back to writing more.
Wednesday, July 21, 2010
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Sometimes its nice to know people are listening...
Its the magic of blogging, days, weeks, or even months later, your thoughts are there for all the world to read. (If you only knew what I DON'T write on here!)
I was contacted today by a very nice person who commented that by post about Josie was "Moving". You never can tell what your words will do to a person. I have been known to offend people without even trying, I would like to think I am getting a little better at that.
Writing for me is certainly not a lifelong desire, much less a strong point. I consider myself much smarter in person that in words. (My grammar, and dyslexia attest to that). However it is very nice to know, that your thoughts might mean something to someone else.
This last week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Work is absolutely INSANE right now. I wake up each morning dreading the excitement that is to come, yet I find myself showing up early for work almost daily.
I busted out the road bike, and my Rommies went shopping and came home with their own! We are now a biking family! We actually have spent allot of time together recently, we have very distinct lives, but we all get along. One of them has an awesome Girlfriend who keeps us all in line, the other has a Girlfriend who is gone to study in London for the summer, and then there is me. (Hee-man, woman hater)
I know I left yall hanging on my Kyoto protocol opinion, but I will get that out soon. Trust me, my opinon has been established, I just need to get it into words!
Thats all for today!
-Josh
I was contacted today by a very nice person who commented that by post about Josie was "Moving". You never can tell what your words will do to a person. I have been known to offend people without even trying, I would like to think I am getting a little better at that.
Writing for me is certainly not a lifelong desire, much less a strong point. I consider myself much smarter in person that in words. (My grammar, and dyslexia attest to that). However it is very nice to know, that your thoughts might mean something to someone else.
This last week has been an emotional roller coaster for me. Work is absolutely INSANE right now. I wake up each morning dreading the excitement that is to come, yet I find myself showing up early for work almost daily.
I busted out the road bike, and my Rommies went shopping and came home with their own! We are now a biking family! We actually have spent allot of time together recently, we have very distinct lives, but we all get along. One of them has an awesome Girlfriend who keeps us all in line, the other has a Girlfriend who is gone to study in London for the summer, and then there is me. (Hee-man, woman hater)
I know I left yall hanging on my Kyoto protocol opinion, but I will get that out soon. Trust me, my opinon has been established, I just need to get it into words!
Thats all for today!
-Josh
Friday, May 14, 2010
A year older, and approaching that time of year...
Last summer sucked, lets face it. And a repeat would be unacceptable.
My birthday was a bit Lame, but I do not know what I expected. When you spend everyday doing anything you want to do anyway, it become a little difficult to "celebrate" And I cant say I have thrown any wild parties for anyone else lately so I certainly didn't have anyone owing me anything in that dept.
As may quickly approaches the half way mark, I can help but recall, some of what was going down this time last year. Uncle Will was in trouble, and we were just starting to realize it. And I was still ignoring that odd little pain I had in my side. I dont think we need graphic reminders of where things went from there.
I was watching a Video on Hulu the other night (as I do almost every night) and there was a add for "City of Hope" talking about treating rare cancers, and saving lives. As much as I hated that place, I have to admit, I cried like a baby for a good 30 mins in my bed. I was such a tough guy back then! But if (or when as my Doctor likes to remind me*) I were to ever attempt that again, things would be different. I think.
*I am in no way implying that "it" has returned or that I expect it too. However Doc. Rassmussen is very adamant that I understand the "probability" of it returning, and the importance of follow up.
Much like those years in Mexico, and walking alone in Puerto Rico, things happen, that I probably will never talk about. Dont need too, dont want too. Its those things that make us who we are.
I made some great friends, and lost some great friends, but in the end it has gotten me where I am today.
Having lost more than many will ever have, and having given more than I had to give, and having been given more than I ever deserved has gotten me to what is for now, the happiest time of my life.
My mind is full of random thoughts, and I enjoy them. My body feels better than it has in a long time, and I enjoy it! My spirit is buoyed with hope of even greater things to come. I have direction, I have purpose, I have hope, and I am broke, such a pleasant combination!
For the last few weeks now, I have been able to function after a fulls days work, and even enjoy staying out late a few nights a week. My weekends have been amazingly full of random activities, and I can actually enjoy them instead of just praying that I dont barf, and holding a big tough boy smile on my face for all the world to see!
I haven't visited my lil Princessa niece Emma for a good long while, and alas my bronchitis has cleared up so I hope to get down there in the next few weeks. I miss torturing her.
Well its been alot of fun! But I gotta go conquer the world!
-Josh
My birthday was a bit Lame, but I do not know what I expected. When you spend everyday doing anything you want to do anyway, it become a little difficult to "celebrate" And I cant say I have thrown any wild parties for anyone else lately so I certainly didn't have anyone owing me anything in that dept.
As may quickly approaches the half way mark, I can help but recall, some of what was going down this time last year. Uncle Will was in trouble, and we were just starting to realize it. And I was still ignoring that odd little pain I had in my side. I dont think we need graphic reminders of where things went from there.
I was watching a Video on Hulu the other night (as I do almost every night) and there was a add for "City of Hope" talking about treating rare cancers, and saving lives. As much as I hated that place, I have to admit, I cried like a baby for a good 30 mins in my bed. I was such a tough guy back then! But if (or when as my Doctor likes to remind me*) I were to ever attempt that again, things would be different. I think.
*I am in no way implying that "it" has returned or that I expect it too. However Doc. Rassmussen is very adamant that I understand the "probability" of it returning, and the importance of follow up.
Much like those years in Mexico, and walking alone in Puerto Rico, things happen, that I probably will never talk about. Dont need too, dont want too. Its those things that make us who we are.
I made some great friends, and lost some great friends, but in the end it has gotten me where I am today.
Having lost more than many will ever have, and having given more than I had to give, and having been given more than I ever deserved has gotten me to what is for now, the happiest time of my life.
My mind is full of random thoughts, and I enjoy them. My body feels better than it has in a long time, and I enjoy it! My spirit is buoyed with hope of even greater things to come. I have direction, I have purpose, I have hope, and I am broke, such a pleasant combination!
For the last few weeks now, I have been able to function after a fulls days work, and even enjoy staying out late a few nights a week. My weekends have been amazingly full of random activities, and I can actually enjoy them instead of just praying that I dont barf, and holding a big tough boy smile on my face for all the world to see!
I haven't visited my lil Princessa niece Emma for a good long while, and alas my bronchitis has cleared up so I hope to get down there in the next few weeks. I miss torturing her.
Well its been alot of fun! But I gotta go conquer the world!
-Josh
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Josh-ipidiea
I have long been known for my head full of random facts, and often seemingly pointless information. Recently some of the work folks sorta jokingly called me "Josh-ipidiea" and while I am reluctant to compare myslef to an encyclopedia, I will say that the biggest reason I am able to find awnsers to things is because I LOOK.
I spend a great deal of my mental capacity thinking through 100 different scenarios for any given situation, and then I try and solve each of them. You cant be affraid to try! I have destroyed my share of things, but I really think that for the most part those "sacrifices" have paid off. I have learned my limits, and my resources. I mean this is 2010 so WHEN I get stumped I generaly turn to my "bag of tricks" like the few hundred people on my Facebook list. And if I cant find someone there who specializes in my problem, I turn to the ole google... Lets face it, in this day in age, funding is the only thing that keeps most of us from building our own space ships based on Googled instructions.
I am loving my job, and they seem to be tolerating my daily demands for a raise, and some hardware upgrades. I think they have learned that I always show up the next morning no matter how many times they regect me. LOL
Spent the weekend helping my Dad do some landscaping modification to Grandmas house. We spent a great deal of time exploring the Volcanic side of Millard County... Always a treat!
I realized today I am not doing so well with the follow up with some of my recently reconnected old friends. I have had several really exciting friends find me latley, and I have been a bit of a lame about getting them all caught up on my life...
I have a birthday comming up! WooHoo?!? I want to go on a Cruise, buy a new Mtn. Bike, and make passionate love to some amazing lover for hours on end to Celebrate. But I am guessing, Ill head down to be with the family, have a steak dinner, and go to bed early. Thats just the way it seems to work these days...
On a side note, I got a new mouse for my work computer today... Its AWESOME!
Love yall!
-Josh
I spend a great deal of my mental capacity thinking through 100 different scenarios for any given situation, and then I try and solve each of them. You cant be affraid to try! I have destroyed my share of things, but I really think that for the most part those "sacrifices" have paid off. I have learned my limits, and my resources. I mean this is 2010 so WHEN I get stumped I generaly turn to my "bag of tricks" like the few hundred people on my Facebook list. And if I cant find someone there who specializes in my problem, I turn to the ole google... Lets face it, in this day in age, funding is the only thing that keeps most of us from building our own space ships based on Googled instructions.
I am loving my job, and they seem to be tolerating my daily demands for a raise, and some hardware upgrades. I think they have learned that I always show up the next morning no matter how many times they regect me. LOL
Spent the weekend helping my Dad do some landscaping modification to Grandmas house. We spent a great deal of time exploring the Volcanic side of Millard County... Always a treat!
I realized today I am not doing so well with the follow up with some of my recently reconnected old friends. I have had several really exciting friends find me latley, and I have been a bit of a lame about getting them all caught up on my life...
I have a birthday comming up! WooHoo?!? I want to go on a Cruise, buy a new Mtn. Bike, and make passionate love to some amazing lover for hours on end to Celebrate. But I am guessing, Ill head down to be with the family, have a steak dinner, and go to bed early. Thats just the way it seems to work these days...
On a side note, I got a new mouse for my work computer today... Its AWESOME!
Love yall!
-Josh
Monday, April 19, 2010
I cant wait to let me 6 year old drive my 3 year old around on the 4 Wheeler...
NOT! Your a complete dumbass if you have ever even thought about doing that. Lets review a few scenarios.
Scenario A: 6 year old makes it around camp, over a few dunes, and down to the candy store and back with lil brother on the back without any trouble. No one get hurts life is good. 6 year old gains confidence in his riding ability, and decides to take the neighbors 4 year old to the Candy Store next time. The dont stop at the stop sign, get T boned by a Truck hauling a Horse Trailer, both Children Die. Your 6 year old just killed the Neighbor boy.
Scenario B: 6 year old Crashes just outside of Camp, not a bad crash, but enough to scare everyone. No one is seriously injured, and the 4 wheeler is just fine. But because the 6 year old realizes he just hurt his little brother he Never wants to ride again. And the 3 year old will always be afraid of Kids just a little older than him. Dont think so? Try it I dare ya. You know own a Kids sized four wheeler that will not be used, and you couldnt conciously risk another familys Children by selling it to someone else.
You get my point folks. Kids are fun. ATV's are fun. But wrecked ATV's and Hurt Kids are about the 2 worst things I can think of at the moment.
Wear you helmet, dont be stupid, and drink lots of fluid! Enjoy the Ride.
Josh
Scenario A: 6 year old makes it around camp, over a few dunes, and down to the candy store and back with lil brother on the back without any trouble. No one get hurts life is good. 6 year old gains confidence in his riding ability, and decides to take the neighbors 4 year old to the Candy Store next time. The dont stop at the stop sign, get T boned by a Truck hauling a Horse Trailer, both Children Die. Your 6 year old just killed the Neighbor boy.
Scenario B: 6 year old Crashes just outside of Camp, not a bad crash, but enough to scare everyone. No one is seriously injured, and the 4 wheeler is just fine. But because the 6 year old realizes he just hurt his little brother he Never wants to ride again. And the 3 year old will always be afraid of Kids just a little older than him. Dont think so? Try it I dare ya. You know own a Kids sized four wheeler that will not be used, and you couldnt conciously risk another familys Children by selling it to someone else.
You get my point folks. Kids are fun. ATV's are fun. But wrecked ATV's and Hurt Kids are about the 2 worst things I can think of at the moment.
Wear you helmet, dont be stupid, and drink lots of fluid! Enjoy the Ride.
Josh
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Its not because I havent had anything to say....
I always have a mind full of thoughts and opinions, but sometimes I need to be prompted to but them down in my blog....
As you probubly know by now, I attempted some really cool manuvers with my body, and landed myself in the ole ER with a broken collar bone. Honestly its not that bad now, Im just a little careful with it, but once you get used to not being able to sleep on your back, side, stomach, head, feet, sitting up, or laying down its not so bad!
On a VERY happy note, my 401k made $0.48 cents last quarter. I knew I should have taken that money to Wendover... hahahaha...
While I actualy think that Aprox 99.9% of the people that read this crap I write are Women, I am going to have to vent for just a second. SO if you are an Emotional, Manipulative, or Indicisive Woman, please dont read the following paragraph:
Why are most Girls convinenced that the only way to get a guys attention is to plot a complicated "Needs" based relationship? Do they not realize that we can see through all the things that "need" us for? Honestly, maybe I have just had way to many Survivalist type Women in my life to really get this, but in short I am NOT flattered that you need me to make every dicision. You dont need to create a need for me, or tell me how much you need me. And dont ever try to show me that I need you. Ill throw that one right back in your face faster than you've ever imagined. Now if you care to make a resonable attempt at exploring a real relationship, I have a few suggestions. First of all, It is perfectly ok to WANT to do something, I may or may not want to do it as well, but I will know with certainty how you feel about it. "Kinda Wanting" or "Thinking about" gives me the idea that you are sharing every thought that runs through your head, and I file it away as such. Also, its ok to disagree, I actualy enjoy a friendly discussion about differences, Im almost imposible to offend, some people like me, some people dont. But I actualy like MOST people. And lastly, I am a real person, with real feelings, and I am reasonably inteligent... If you want to know something about me, or how I feel about something, just ask. Ill tell you. And most of the time Ill be respectable about it. You wont get anywhere trying to trick me into telling you what you want to know without asking.
OK Im back, or continuing on for those who skipped my potentialy offensive Rant...
Life if Great at Present as far as I am concerned. I am really enjoying my work, and the everyday challenges it brings. I feel as if mentaly this has been just what the Doctor ordered. It has sharpend my mind, and my skills, back to where they belong.
Speaking of Doctors, I have an appointment next week, I am excited! I have lost just a little weight, which was needed, and I feel good in that regard. My energy level however is a joke. And its not bouncing back as quickly as I had hoped. After a full day of work I am spent. I have just enough left to get home, eat, maybe do a quick load of laundry and go to bed. I hope to get back to running soon. The weather is nice, and my legs are begging for it...
I took Grams for a short road trip recently, it was a Great time! We went and did some Southern Utah Exploring. Just Her and I... It was a great trip! Hope to get a few more adventures in with her before it gets to hot outside.
Speaking of getting hot outside, Im preparing to release my Opinion on Global Warming, and the Kyoto Protocol.
Stay tuned!
Josh
As you probubly know by now, I attempted some really cool manuvers with my body, and landed myself in the ole ER with a broken collar bone. Honestly its not that bad now, Im just a little careful with it, but once you get used to not being able to sleep on your back, side, stomach, head, feet, sitting up, or laying down its not so bad!
On a VERY happy note, my 401k made $0.48 cents last quarter. I knew I should have taken that money to Wendover... hahahaha...
While I actualy think that Aprox 99.9% of the people that read this crap I write are Women, I am going to have to vent for just a second. SO if you are an Emotional, Manipulative, or Indicisive Woman, please dont read the following paragraph:
Why are most Girls convinenced that the only way to get a guys attention is to plot a complicated "Needs" based relationship? Do they not realize that we can see through all the things that "need" us for? Honestly, maybe I have just had way to many Survivalist type Women in my life to really get this, but in short I am NOT flattered that you need me to make every dicision. You dont need to create a need for me, or tell me how much you need me. And dont ever try to show me that I need you. Ill throw that one right back in your face faster than you've ever imagined. Now if you care to make a resonable attempt at exploring a real relationship, I have a few suggestions. First of all, It is perfectly ok to WANT to do something, I may or may not want to do it as well, but I will know with certainty how you feel about it. "Kinda Wanting" or "Thinking about" gives me the idea that you are sharing every thought that runs through your head, and I file it away as such. Also, its ok to disagree, I actualy enjoy a friendly discussion about differences, Im almost imposible to offend, some people like me, some people dont. But I actualy like MOST people. And lastly, I am a real person, with real feelings, and I am reasonably inteligent... If you want to know something about me, or how I feel about something, just ask. Ill tell you. And most of the time Ill be respectable about it. You wont get anywhere trying to trick me into telling you what you want to know without asking.
OK Im back, or continuing on for those who skipped my potentialy offensive Rant...
Life if Great at Present as far as I am concerned. I am really enjoying my work, and the everyday challenges it brings. I feel as if mentaly this has been just what the Doctor ordered. It has sharpend my mind, and my skills, back to where they belong.
Speaking of Doctors, I have an appointment next week, I am excited! I have lost just a little weight, which was needed, and I feel good in that regard. My energy level however is a joke. And its not bouncing back as quickly as I had hoped. After a full day of work I am spent. I have just enough left to get home, eat, maybe do a quick load of laundry and go to bed. I hope to get back to running soon. The weather is nice, and my legs are begging for it...
I took Grams for a short road trip recently, it was a Great time! We went and did some Southern Utah Exploring. Just Her and I... It was a great trip! Hope to get a few more adventures in with her before it gets to hot outside.
Speaking of getting hot outside, Im preparing to release my Opinion on Global Warming, and the Kyoto Protocol.
Stay tuned!
Josh
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Visions of Sugar plums
For the record, I enjoy a good seasonal Sugar Plumb, but I am sensetive to caraway seeds, so they have to be just the right ones or I wont eat them.
You ask yourself, What the heck is this guy babling about? Well, when I look around at all the best things in life, they are sorta made like Sugar Plumbs; by taking a well liked object, drying it out, chopping it up, Mixing in a few things that *some* would say will make it better, yet not so much of it that those who object can really make a case against it.
I know everyone has been eagerly awaiting my 2 cents on the Healthcare Reform Bill... Well here it is: I do not agree WHATSOEVER with our Goverment sneakily attaching random things to big name political movements. IE: College loan reform is included with the "Healthcare" reform, AND how many knew that there was a Healthcare Privacy movement included in the economic "Stimulus"!? I would dare say it is becoming increasing dificult to trust our politicians, and much less the mass media versions of "Political Analaysis"
We must become educated for our own protection.
Got to spend a weekend out on the Desert recently, which scratched my itch well enough that I wont need to be doing anything to exciting for Easter.
I have some upcoming health check ups, to be completly honest, nothing would suprise me, I have noticed a little bit of weight loss, which was actualy needed, but I didnt do anything to cause it, so Im going to guess that will mean a slight Medication adjustment is due. My hair is growing great, but my skin is still very hard and dry... no bueno.
For now, all is well, and Im am still me!
-Josh
You ask yourself, What the heck is this guy babling about? Well, when I look around at all the best things in life, they are sorta made like Sugar Plumbs; by taking a well liked object, drying it out, chopping it up, Mixing in a few things that *some* would say will make it better, yet not so much of it that those who object can really make a case against it.
I know everyone has been eagerly awaiting my 2 cents on the Healthcare Reform Bill... Well here it is: I do not agree WHATSOEVER with our Goverment sneakily attaching random things to big name political movements. IE: College loan reform is included with the "Healthcare" reform, AND how many knew that there was a Healthcare Privacy movement included in the economic "Stimulus"!? I would dare say it is becoming increasing dificult to trust our politicians, and much less the mass media versions of "Political Analaysis"
We must become educated for our own protection.
Got to spend a weekend out on the Desert recently, which scratched my itch well enough that I wont need to be doing anything to exciting for Easter.
I have some upcoming health check ups, to be completly honest, nothing would suprise me, I have noticed a little bit of weight loss, which was actualy needed, but I didnt do anything to cause it, so Im going to guess that will mean a slight Medication adjustment is due. My hair is growing great, but my skin is still very hard and dry... no bueno.
For now, all is well, and Im am still me!
-Josh
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Its like yelling into the corner of a round room....
You know those things you just need to say or think, but you are completely, consciously aware that it does no good to say or think them? My head seems to be full of those at the moment.
I want to know something, but I dont want to ask about it.
I know how to do something that I need to do, But I dont want to do it.
I have the time to do the things I need to do, but I want to use it to do things I dont need.
I know Im hearing, but I dont know what Im listening too.
Im not completely happy, but Im not sad about it.
Its yet another fruitful weekend, I got to rock lil Emma to sleep yesterday! I made some awesome Grub for Dinner! Im looking forward to going to work tomorrow, and I managed to make my very own plans for after work! I feel like such a big boy! This last week I also refilled my prescription on time, kept my Cell phone charged, replied to every important email, and even managed to keep myself fed!
Despite what some people might think I DO know what I want, I just dont want to tell them!
Agh.... Thats all folks!
I want to know something, but I dont want to ask about it.
I know how to do something that I need to do, But I dont want to do it.
I have the time to do the things I need to do, but I want to use it to do things I dont need.
I know Im hearing, but I dont know what Im listening too.
Im not completely happy, but Im not sad about it.
Its yet another fruitful weekend, I got to rock lil Emma to sleep yesterday! I made some awesome Grub for Dinner! Im looking forward to going to work tomorrow, and I managed to make my very own plans for after work! I feel like such a big boy! This last week I also refilled my prescription on time, kept my Cell phone charged, replied to every important email, and even managed to keep myself fed!
Despite what some people might think I DO know what I want, I just dont want to tell them!
Agh.... Thats all folks!
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Something to talk about
I realize that I have grown away from my blog, and I really dont know why... Its such a fun place... I never know who if anyone is reading it, and I can only imagine a handful of people who actually care about what I have to say, yet with each new post I get a very respectable number of hits on the Counter. SO what I would like to do is have each person who actually takes time to read this junk, to send $1 (US) to:
Wow, I find the dumbest ways to crack myself up sometimes. (On a side note, anyone interested in sending me a Dollar please email me!) I recently went on a date to a roller rink, It only cost $2! And it was a GREAT time!
Health update: Im swell, and holding. Check ups every 2 months for the next 5years.
Work update: I love the new job, and I know I havent given anyone specifics about it online, and there is a reason for that. Not that Ive been sworn to secrecy, but more so our Company, and Products are designed to be Web based success' and frankly I dont want 200,000+ people pestering me. SO if ya really want to know that bad, just ask me. Ill tell ya. But dont expect much specifics online, until things settle down. (My Horoscope says things will settle down around my birthday, which is in May, ((again anyone needing that address just let me know :)))
Love update: People love me and I love some people. What more could a man want.
Beannies: Are for sale, I have a huge inventory in stock :) They are great for spring! The decision to sale them is based solely on the need for more yarn to perpetuate my habit. I did drop some off at the Cancer center the other day. They always had a nice supply, but I never cared for the ones they had. I hope mine will make someone happy.
Ski update: The snowpack in Utah has sucked. However that hasnt stopped me. Ill be night skiing at Brighton tomorrow. Come find me and say hi!
Research update: I have not been conducting any animal testing lately.
La Familia: I have a new Niece that is about a month old now. I got to pick her name, (mostly I think because they didnt think I was going to live long enough to meet her, I showed them, and NOW they had to use my name!) Her name is Emma Mae, shes adorable! And she might be a lil spoiled. She has the largest individual collection of my Beannies of anyone! hehehehehe And today I think Im going to take he something that makes lots of noise! Yep thats they kind a uncle I am.
Im going to go eat some Grapes, Have a fine day!
-Josh
Wow, I find the dumbest ways to crack myself up sometimes. (On a side note, anyone interested in sending me a Dollar please email me!) I recently went on a date to a roller rink, It only cost $2! And it was a GREAT time!
Health update: Im swell, and holding. Check ups every 2 months for the next 5years.
Work update: I love the new job, and I know I havent given anyone specifics about it online, and there is a reason for that. Not that Ive been sworn to secrecy, but more so our Company, and Products are designed to be Web based success' and frankly I dont want 200,000+ people pestering me. SO if ya really want to know that bad, just ask me. Ill tell ya. But dont expect much specifics online, until things settle down. (My Horoscope says things will settle down around my birthday, which is in May, ((again anyone needing that address just let me know :)))
Love update: People love me and I love some people. What more could a man want.
Beannies: Are for sale, I have a huge inventory in stock :) They are great for spring! The decision to sale them is based solely on the need for more yarn to perpetuate my habit. I did drop some off at the Cancer center the other day. They always had a nice supply, but I never cared for the ones they had. I hope mine will make someone happy.
Ski update: The snowpack in Utah has sucked. However that hasnt stopped me. Ill be night skiing at Brighton tomorrow. Come find me and say hi!
Research update: I have not been conducting any animal testing lately.
La Familia: I have a new Niece that is about a month old now. I got to pick her name, (mostly I think because they didnt think I was going to live long enough to meet her, I showed them, and NOW they had to use my name!) Her name is Emma Mae, shes adorable! And she might be a lil spoiled. She has the largest individual collection of my Beannies of anyone! hehehehehe And today I think Im going to take he something that makes lots of noise! Yep thats they kind a uncle I am.
Im going to go eat some Grapes, Have a fine day!
-Josh
Friday, February 26, 2010
New Job
So its my second day here on the new job. You ask yourself...Hmmm wonder what Josh does now? Well, I work for a really cool company, that has a really cool product, that no one can seem to find. Aparently we are having some Production/Distribution issues. Lucky for me, its not anything I am supposed to be fixing, and even better no Product, mean No Problems with the Product, SO that is making it even better! Aparently my job has more to do with this imaginary product than I thought. I have spent a great deal up time setting up my desk to do the "Work" Im going to be doing once we have a product and then someone has a problem with it. There is a computer program that is supposed to help me fix the problems but its broke right now, SO I cant really practice fixing the problem of our Product when our Product doesnt have any Problems, and the Program for the Problem Product doesnt work. Yeah its Friday, gotta love it.
Friday, January 8, 2010
Officer Down
My memories with Josie are not unique in anyway, She did the same for all of us, but I have to put my memories into words so that those memories will not go unspoken.
I heard Sgt. Kimball's voice, and I knew he must have felt like the loneliest man on earth at that moment.
It sat me straight up in my bed, I had been half listening to the standard flow of Radio traffic until that moment. Now I was wide awake, my heart racing I knew exactly who was down, and I knew that in an instant our quiet little town would be shaken to its very core. And worse, I knew those men were somewhere around here. She had been taken down, that brave woman who had been there for countless members of our community was gone.
When you're from a small town its easy to get to know people, but this time it was the woman who had held my own mothers head above the water as she was seizing in a tub full of water.
A woman who took a Patrol Car down a snow packed ditch bank where no car belonged because she knew I couldn't stop those two young men alone.
It was the deputy that selflessly handed ME her spare flashlight that night on that cold desert. And as 15 or more men stood watching she placed the cuffs on those "big talking" young mens wrists. I remember the words those kids said to her, and the fire that it ignited in every man standing there, but we knew full well she could handle them. They were in good hands. I had lost her flashlight.
It was the woman who's own cry for help I had once responded too. One of her own was in need, and for a short moment, I was able to give back to her, in a small, small way.
I remember standing at the window of her truck one night when a medical call came through, it was CPR in progress, I just stepped back and said well I'll see you later. She began to pull away and then without ever stopping she shouted from her window: "How many compressions am I supposed to give again?" I yelled back shaking my head, half laughing, 30... Josie, 30... I didn't think she had heard me with her siren wailing, but when I saw her at the hospital later, she came up to me and said: "You did say 30 right?" I said: Yes, and just laughed. She said: "HEY! Oak City is a long drive to remember that, Im glad I got it right" Ive never seen Josie not have it right.
"She was easy to love, and she loved everyone of us. She deserves our love, and gave us love undeserved." -Josh Poulsen
I heard Sgt. Kimball's voice, and I knew he must have felt like the loneliest man on earth at that moment.
It sat me straight up in my bed, I had been half listening to the standard flow of Radio traffic until that moment. Now I was wide awake, my heart racing I knew exactly who was down, and I knew that in an instant our quiet little town would be shaken to its very core. And worse, I knew those men were somewhere around here. She had been taken down, that brave woman who had been there for countless members of our community was gone.
When you're from a small town its easy to get to know people, but this time it was the woman who had held my own mothers head above the water as she was seizing in a tub full of water.
A woman who took a Patrol Car down a snow packed ditch bank where no car belonged because she knew I couldn't stop those two young men alone.
It was the deputy that selflessly handed ME her spare flashlight that night on that cold desert. And as 15 or more men stood watching she placed the cuffs on those "big talking" young mens wrists. I remember the words those kids said to her, and the fire that it ignited in every man standing there, but we knew full well she could handle them. They were in good hands. I had lost her flashlight.
It was the woman who's own cry for help I had once responded too. One of her own was in need, and for a short moment, I was able to give back to her, in a small, small way.
I remember standing at the window of her truck one night when a medical call came through, it was CPR in progress, I just stepped back and said well I'll see you later. She began to pull away and then without ever stopping she shouted from her window: "How many compressions am I supposed to give again?" I yelled back shaking my head, half laughing, 30... Josie, 30... I didn't think she had heard me with her siren wailing, but when I saw her at the hospital later, she came up to me and said: "You did say 30 right?" I said: Yes, and just laughed. She said: "HEY! Oak City is a long drive to remember that, Im glad I got it right" Ive never seen Josie not have it right.
"She was easy to love, and she loved everyone of us. She deserves our love, and gave us love undeserved." -Josh Poulsen
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Deputy Josie Greathouse Fox
It was just shortly after 1 A.M. I thought I was asleep, yet I heard every single word. And in a flash a wonderful Mother was gone. A life taken at the hands of an ill soul. Once something like that has your attention you cant stop listening. For over 8 hours now, I have listened as every inch of our county has been combed through block by block, mile by mile, by men dedicated to keeping the rest of us safe asleep in our homes. Its now nearing 10 AM, and one by one I can hear those tired and tried men going 10-42 safe at their homes. Josie wont be going 10-42 and she didn't get to go home safe this morning.
I remember a few years ago waking up to Josie's panicked voice on the Radio, in desperate need of help for someone close to her. Just like last night I thought I was asleep, but something about her voice jolted me from my bed and into the Ambulance before the page ever went out, that night she made a difference in someones life. Last night She didn't get the chance to ask for help.
I will never forget Josie being there for me, and my family and the comfort she offered me knowing how difficult it is to face your own family in a bad situation. She knew exactly how it felt, I had watched her feel it, and I could feel that she really cared. And she wasn't the type to just care at that moment, she cared enough to help even hours after her shift was over.
Deputy Josie Greathouse Fox, gone but never forgotten.
Saturday, January 2, 2010
Schadenfreude
And I actually *think* I spelled that right... But I dont have any German neuroscience books around to back me up... And honestly I dont know of any American English words that explain Schadenfreude. How on earth can I get a word like that out of my lil head you ask? It was easy...somebody taught me, and I listened for a change. I remember thinking to myself at the time: "Thats the word to explain why its so fun to be and EMT!" I regret to say that shortly after developing that theory I was proven wrong, very wrong. There is something about dragging your own Mothers unconscious body out of a bathtub, as part of your job duty, that makes Schadenfreude suddenly a very inappropriate term for any "Thrill" that comes from being a EMT.... (PTSD, Much?) its about then that you start to think about those freakish stories about Cops being first to find dead family members ect. It changes you. But as usual I am rambling about something that has nothing to do with "My Point" today... I was born a rambling man?
It was a Lakota Indian teaching us in the Black Hills of Tennessee, that first introduced this thought to me. I had personally driven cross country to be lectured by Native Americans, Psychologists and Neuro-scientists about how the fine art of Mental "Repair" is to be mastered. It was indeed one of the more enlightening experiences of my life. And I will never forget the piercing familiarity that each concept had to a general teaching of most Christian Standards including my own. And from that, I was able to substitute albeit mentaly the term "Schadenfreude" with the concept of "Envy" in similar fashion as described in the book of Proverbs. Simply put envy will catch up to you, its a basic life principal. Not always in the way it grabbed me, by taking something that I much enjoyed doing (working as an EMT) and suddenly making it one of the most nightmarish visions that will be forever etched in my memory. And while for me, for the most part I have worked through that mentally to a point of being able to effectively and confidently perform any Emergency Medical task at hand, it has never felt the same.
My question to myself is WHICH feeling is right?
At present I have adopted the opinion that Oxytocin is the control center for that feeling technically described as "Envy". In my opinion that is the practical reason that each of us react distinctly to any given situation. Despite some groupable familiarities and differences between men and women, for the most part this is a highly "Personalized" part of who we are.
Now if you are thinking to yourself..."Josh, you need a life" well your right... But in the meantime dont hate me for thinking about yours : )
It was a Lakota Indian teaching us in the Black Hills of Tennessee, that first introduced this thought to me. I had personally driven cross country to be lectured by Native Americans, Psychologists and Neuro-scientists about how the fine art of Mental "Repair" is to be mastered. It was indeed one of the more enlightening experiences of my life. And I will never forget the piercing familiarity that each concept had to a general teaching of most Christian Standards including my own. And from that, I was able to substitute albeit mentaly the term "Schadenfreude" with the concept of "Envy" in similar fashion as described in the book of Proverbs. Simply put envy will catch up to you, its a basic life principal. Not always in the way it grabbed me, by taking something that I much enjoyed doing (working as an EMT) and suddenly making it one of the most nightmarish visions that will be forever etched in my memory. And while for me, for the most part I have worked through that mentally to a point of being able to effectively and confidently perform any Emergency Medical task at hand, it has never felt the same.
My question to myself is WHICH feeling is right?
At present I have adopted the opinion that Oxytocin is the control center for that feeling technically described as "Envy". In my opinion that is the practical reason that each of us react distinctly to any given situation. Despite some groupable familiarities and differences between men and women, for the most part this is a highly "Personalized" part of who we are.
Now if you are thinking to yourself..."Josh, you need a life" well your right... But in the meantime dont hate me for thinking about yours : )
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